When you were growing up, did you ever think about the day your dad would no longer be around for you? I never did. I thought my dad was invincible i thought he was immortal. My dad had a massive stroke in January. And it killed 25% of his brain. Now his heart throws blood clots to his brain and he will probably never recover. As a daughter it hurts me deeply to know i cannot help him. When it first happened i made him a priority. Made it my business to be there everyday even if he didn't know it. When he began to make progress i couldn't bring myself to be around him. I tried but i always left in tears, i didn't want to live my life that way, so i stopped making him a priority. My visits became few and far between. I am a bad daughter for this. I went to see my dad for his bday! He couldn't have been happier to see me. He wanted me to just sit at his bed side so he could stare at me, and smile.
Lately ive been on this 90s kick. Save by bell, the nanny, boy meets world. Only watching shows that remind me of my dad. Latest is duck dynasty. To watch them talk about beavers made me cry. If you knew my dad then you'd know his life's work was dedicated to be an outdoorsman. Unfortunately that is no longer plausible for him. He is wheel chair bound and he cant even control that at this point. How do you look someone in the eye everyday and not break their heart?
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